Category Archives: Family

Mi familia

The thing about moving

I wrote this yesterday and intended to post it at some point last night. However, I haven’t had a chance to set up internet since I moved, and I wasn’t able to go anywhere with WiFi last night. So here it is, unchanged from last night. (You can pretend you’re reading it in real-time.)

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Last night was the first night Josh and I spent in our new apartment, and I can’t tell you the array of emotions I felt. Honestly, the only few I can pinpoint were excitement, anxiety and sadness. They kept me up last night and will probably continue to for the next few nights.

I’m excited to finally be in this place, both literally and metaphorically. My new home is beautiful, and I love sharing it with Josh. And I’m stoked to finally have hit this mark in our relationship where we are comfortable enough to live together.

But I’m anxious too. Every time I move, I forget about how overwhelming the piles of boxes can be until the boxes start piling up in my new place. And I don’t mean empty boxes; those make me a happy person. No, I mean the ones still wrapped in tape and weighing what seems like a billion pounds. Yeah, those boxes.

The anxiety was expected. It happens every time I move. It takes me a week or so to get used to the idea that this place is my new home and I won’t walk through the front door of my former home again. It’s such an odd feeling.

I think the most difficult emotion to handle is the sadness, mostly because I can’t decide if I even should feel this way. It feels a lot like mourning.

Let me explain why this is so tough.

First, I hated where I was living before. The management was terrible, rent was ridiculous and my neighbors were obnoxious. So why should I be sad about leaving it behind?

Second, I’m super upset about having to get rid of my love seat. It wouldn’t fit in my living room, so now I’m left with only half the set (the couch). I feel so petty about it.

Finally, I miss my roommates. I’ve lived with my best friend for the past three years, and it’s hard to imagine not living with her anymore. She’s been my rock nearly the entire time I’ve lived away from my parents. This is the most difficult to deal with because it’s so hard to discuss without seeming like I don’t want to live with Josh (because I totally want to). Even though my best friend is, as she put it, only a text/call/drive/FaceTime away, I still miss her bunches.

So, that’s the thing about moving I always forget–the vast emotions I can’t seem to pinpoint. And they get harder to handle every time.

I love my dad.

I spent the last two (almost three!) days with my dad, and it was wonderful.

I love being able to say that. Four years ago, I wouldn’t have even mumbled it.

This was my gift to Dad for Father’s Day.

The past 15 years have been rough for both of us. I know it sucked for him, because spending quality time with my sister and me was very rare for him. And when he finally did get a few moments with us, we were just plain mean.

You see, 15 years ago this summer, my parents divorced. My sister and I moved to Alabama with my mom. My dad didn’t come with us. I’d cry at night, wondering what was happening and when I would see my daddy again (I was a complete daddy’s girl).

At some point I began to despise him. I hated him for leaving me. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t want me. My 7-year-old brain couldn’t comprehend that my dad wasn’t trying to dispose me from his life. And, even more so, I had no idea it wasn’t my battle to fight. So, for at least 11 years, I fought. I fought hard.

Now, 15 years later, I finally understand that whatever happened between my parents should stay between them. Knowing it’s not my battle has helped me fix my relationship with my dad. It’s still a work in progress and probably will be for years to come (I know I can’t fix 15 years of hurt overnight). But, as weird as this would seem to my former self, I’m actually enjoying it.

My dad and me, celebrating July 4th a few summers ago.

We are crazy alike. My love of books? Thanks, dad. My strange need for tidiness? All him. My obsession with bread (and likely lots of other foods)? Yeah, that probably came from Dad too.

Though I sometimes am curious as to what actually went down 15 years ago, I don’t think I really want to know. I love both of my parents and don’t want to know who started what or who said what nasty thing to the other. All I need to know is that they love me back, and that is something I am very sure of.

[SIDE NOTE: I have been having problems with my comments lately. If you cannot post a comment but would like to contact me, there are many ways to do so. Visit my contact page for more info.]

On parties, school and pizza

My life has been super busy the past few weeks. Both of my parents turned 50 within days of each other, school seems to have amped up, and I’ve been working toward internships. Unfortunately, that doesn’t leave much room for my blog. The good news is that I have lots to talk (er–write) about.

The Big 5-0:

Both of my parents are now officially over the hill. My mom actually called people bragging about how she is “officially old.” It was great. My dad kept telling my sister and me that we didn’t have to remind him that it was his 50th birthday. Of course, we did. Their birthdays are a little more than a week apart. Their parties were exactly a week apart. You can imagine the chaos. My sister planned most of both (because every party I have ever planned has failed; obviously party planning is not for me). My mom’s party was a surprise, so my job was to distract her, which went really well. She had no idea that we were going to her birthday party until we walked into a room with nearly 50 of her friends and family members. She was in shock for hours. Oh, and did I mention her picture was on the cake. Yeah. It was awesome.

A decoration at Mom’s party hung where everyone could see it.

My dad knew about his party. My sister and I simply put all the little details in place (again, most of the planning was thanks to my talented sister). My job this time was to pick up food and some of the decorations. Since my dad is a huge football fan, we set up a tailgate-style party on our patio. We had streamers and football paraphernalia. It looked like an actual tailgate party.

This was our tailgate feast. The strawberries, champagne & shrimp cocktail were a delicious joke.

While both of these parties were amazing (seriously, I could go on and on about them), they were also exhausting. I am so partied out now.

School Hype:

School is in high gear for me. Part of the reason is because we’re in the second half of the semester. Things tend to get more fast-paced on campus as we near finals. But it’s about to get even faster because I’ll be taking an extra class next semester. I found out that if I do so, I can graduate a semester early. That is both exciting and terrifying. That means I have to work extra-hard for the internship(s) I want/need. So, with that said, I’ll try to get back in the habit of weekly posts.However, this may turn into a once-a-month blog (though I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I won’t have to resort to that).

Side Notes:

Remember that list of goals I made last month? Yeah… not going so well. Particularly getting back into the kitchen. Sometimes, I simply don’t have the time to prepare a full meal. But when I do have time, I want my roommates to be able to enjoy what I cook. Our conflicting schedules make it hard to eat together and easy to find a lack of motivation to cook. But tonight, my best friend and I cooked together (just like good ol’ times). On the menu: pizza! She made the sauce while I chopped meat and veggies. We made two pizzas. One was a meatless Mediterranean pizza, and the other was a meaty pizza. The Mediterranean pizza–which the bestie and I split–had the homemade sauce on a store-bought pizza crust (every time we try to make the crust, it turns out too thick) with mozzarella and feta cheeses, roma tomatoes, kalamata olives, peperocini peppers, and sauteed onions.

I had to eat the Mediterranean pizza with a fork.

The meaty pizza had the homemade sauce on a crust just like the other pizza, covered in mozzarella, then topped with turkey pepperoni, Canadian bacon and grilled chicken. This pizza was for my boyfriend and my sister, who seem to be mentally allergic to most vegetables. I was unable to get a picture of their plates for fear of having my had bitten off.

Anyway, that’s kind of what’s been going on with me since I kind of fell off the planet (or the blogosphere or whatever). It seriously has been an interesting few weeks.

Tell me about any interesting parties or delicious foods you’ve prepared recently!