I love my dad.

I spent the last two (almost three!) days with my dad, and it was wonderful.

I love being able to say that. Four years ago, I wouldn’t have even mumbled it.

This was my gift to Dad for Father’s Day.

The past 15 years have been rough for both of us. I know it sucked for him, because spending quality time with my sister and me was very rare for him. And when he finally did get a few moments with us, we were just plain mean.

You see, 15 years ago this summer, my parents divorced. My sister and I moved to Alabama with my mom. My dad didn’t come with us. I’d cry at night, wondering what was happening and when I would see my daddy again (I was a complete daddy’s girl).

At some point I began to despise him. I hated him for leaving me. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t want me. My 7-year-old brain couldn’t comprehend that my dad wasn’t trying to dispose me from his life. And, even more so, I had no idea it wasn’t my battle to fight. So, for at least 11 years, I fought. I fought hard.

Now, 15 years later, I finally understand that whatever happened between my parents should stay between them. Knowing it’s not my battle has helped me fix my relationship with my dad. It’s still a work in progress and probably will be for years to come (I know I can’t fix 15 years of hurt overnight). But, as weird as this would seem to my former self, I’m actually enjoying it.

My dad and me, celebrating July 4th a few summers ago.

We are crazy alike. My love of books? Thanks, dad. My strange need for tidiness? All him. My obsession with bread (and likely lots of other foods)? Yeah, that probably came from Dad too.

Though I sometimes am curious as to what actually went down 15 years ago, I don’t think I really want to know. I love both of my parents and don’t want to know who started what or who said what nasty thing to the other. All I need to know is that they love me back, and that is something I am very sure of.

[SIDE NOTE: I have been having problems with my comments lately. If you cannot post a comment but would like to contact me, there are many ways to do so. Visit my contact page for more info.]

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